A Prayer for the Stressed at Xmas and for the New Year

O Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Plus, the courage to change the things I cannot accept

And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And help me, O Lord to be careful of the toes on which I step on today

As they may be connected to the arse that I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me, O Lord, as always to give 100% at work……

12% on Monday

23% on Tuesday

40% on Wednesday

20% on Thursday

5% on Friday

And finally, Lord, help me to remember, when I’m having a bad day

And it seems like people really have it in for me,

That it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend my arm

And smack the arsehole in the mouth. Amen